So Kyle mentioned the blog earlier today, and I realised that I haven’t posted in like, forever either. Not much has been happening in the Library lately actually. The way Adrian explained it to me is that time here and time in real life don’t quite more linearly – they move how the story needs them to move. So what’s happening here may not necessarily reflect the goings on in the real world. That sounds confusing, so don’t think about it too hard.
…no really, don’t. If you think about it, the Fourth Wall starts to get a little loose.
But things do move here. Since you all last saw me I have been to two concerts (yes, I went to see One Direction the other week – shut your faces), one anime convention, almost finished year ten and got half way through my GCSEs. Incidentally, it turns out that picking your GCSEs is a harrowing experience. You can’t quite escape the sensation that your entire future is riding on these choices that you – a naive little thirteen/fourteen year old – are just not equipped to make. Fortunately they impose strict deadlines, and we must meet them or an earthquake will swallow the entire building up.
But now I’m fifteen and next year is year eleven, and in keeping with tradition, year elevens get to pick by popular vote what colour combos our uniform will be. Unfortunately the teachers shot most of our suggestions down. Apparently Barbie pink and lime green isn’t an acceptable choice, but we have managed to get dark green and purple, which actually looks kind of cool. It almost makes wearing a skirt, blazer and tie combination bearable.
Almost. But not quite.
So anyway, back to GCSEs. Since I haven’t actually been on the blog for two years, nobody knows what I actually picked. So aside from the core subjects (incidentally, maths is still a bitch), I am taking IT as a double qualification, along with Art and History. Art is still the favourite, but I’m doing best at IT obviously – helps when there’s a multiverse spanning computer system to practise on on a daily basis (incidentally Adrian if you’re reading this, that database mix up that filed a load of pornography in the Christian fiction section had nothing to do with me – it was all @’s fault). Jesus Monster Truck Driving Christ, I actually finish full time schooling in a year. That’s a terrifying thought. But I’m carrying on with it, which means next year I’ve got to pick my A Levels – I’m thinking Art, Photography, and two other things that I haven’t picked yet. Since my school doesn’t actually have a sixth form, I’ll be moving over to the Grammar school to take them. Miki and Anna are both planning on come too.
Oh and if anyone was wondering, yes university is on the table. I don’t actually know how much studying I’d do, but three years of drinking, drugs and sexual experimentation sounds frigging awesome!
Speaking of the three evils, I have a birthday party next weekend that I need to raid the wardrobe for. I also owe Mike three ciders and a new hairbrush (don’t ask – it’s his boyfriend’s fault).
*Kyle is in a duel with 400 life points left and only four face-down cards in his spell/trap zones. He also had a very large hand, 10 cards in total with the one he just drew. Oddly, his opponent was shadowed, though it was obvious that he was in control with full life points, Infinite Cards on the field and Tragoedia on the field (12000/12000)*
“I don’t know who you are or how you got in here, but I’m going to end this! And your defeat starts with this!” Kyle held up two monster cards, specifically two Pendulum Monster cards. “With the Scale one Stargazer Magician and the Scale eight Timegazer Magician, I set the Pendulum Scales!”
The two declared monsters appeared in columns of blue transparent light on either side of Kyle’s field. “With this, I can now summon multiple monsters with Levels two through seven! NOW SWING, PENDULUM OF SOULS! DRAW AN ARC OF LIGHT ACROSS THE ETHER! PENDULUM SUMMON! COME FORTH, MY MONSTERS!”
*A huge portal appeared in the air and five streaks of light shot out and landed in front of Kyle. They were revealed, in order; Junk Synchron, Elemental Hero Necroshade, Gagaga Magician, Dark Magician and Tasuke Knight.*
“Now, how about I do my next thing in reverse series order as I currently have it…Gagaga Magician, Tasuke Knight; by connecting these two Level 4 monsters together, I build the Overlay Network! XYZ SUMMON!”
*The punkish mage and the red sumo knight nodded to each other before forming into transforming into streaks of violet and yellow light respectively and vanishing into a galactic looking portal. The portal then exploded to reveal the summoned monster, a humanoid knight in white armor with two glowing swords in each hand.*
“Behold, Number 39: Utopia! And now for the next one! Level five, Elemental Hero Necroshade, Level three, Junk Synchron…Tune, NOW!”
*The two monsters again nodded to each other before leaping into the air, Junk Synchron pulling a cord to rev the engine on his back before he turned into light and dissolved into three rune circles. Necroshade entered the circles, fading to an outline with five glowing stars within.*
“The guardian winds rise to form the mightiest protector, SHELTER US ALL FROM THE RAGING STORM! SYNCHRO SUMMON! Rise now, Stardust Dragon!”
*The glowing stars and scanning rune circles burst into a huge streak of light from which a magnificent white Dragon emerges.*
“Now, after those two, this one’s going to seem rather mundane…Once, while Elemental Hero Necroshade is in my graveyard, I can normal summon a high level Elemental Hero without tribute.”
*He’d play the card, causing a portal into a strange other space to appear over his head.*
“The greatest hero from the other dimension of Gentle Darkness, appear now to lend me your aid! HEROIC SUMMON!”
*From out of the portal would descend a mostly white humanoid with a blue gemstone in his chest.*
“Behold, Elemental Hero Neos! But why stop here? There’s still one more friend of mine who wants to kick your butt! To bring him out, I activate a spell card, Rules of the Legendary!”
Plugging the card into his disk, it revealed itself as a normal spell card with an image of the four monsters he just summoned surrounding a fifth monster in shadows, though it looked like some kind of dragon.*
“Now, since I control at least two of the following monsters; Dark Magician, Elemental Hero Neos, Stardust Dragon, Number 39: Utopia and Odd-Eyes Pendulum Dragon, I can special summon any of the others in that list from my hand or extra deck, ignoring any summoning restrictions and treating it as its proper summon. Now stand before me, Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon!”
*All four of the monsters present would point to the middle of Kyle’s field, a powerful portal would form there. From out of this portal would leap a muscular red dragon with a blue gem-like belly and three mismatched gems on a bony crescent structure on its back; one big red one on its left side and two smaller green ones on its right. These corresponded to the mismatched colors of its eyes.*
“Now, I have everything I need to TAKE YOU DOWN! I ACTIVATE ALL FOUR OF MY SET CARDS!”
*All four of them would flip up, each one depicting one of the four monsters other than Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon on the field and all of them looking like they were projecting energy in some way.”
“First, Dark Spiral Force! By preventing at least one Dark Magician from attacking, I can double the ATK of one monster I control. I choose Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon! Second, Neos Spiral Force! By preventing at least one Elemental Hero Neos I control from attacking, I can double the ATK of one monster I control. Again, I choose Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon! Third, Star Spiral Force! By preventing at least one Stardust Dragon from attacking, I can double the ATK of one monster I control. I choose Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon! And finally, Hope Spiral Force! By preventing at least one Number 39: Utopia from attacking, I can double the ATK of one monster I control. For the last time, I choose Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon!”
*The red land dragon leaped high into the air with all of the other monsters following it.*
“Now, Odd-eyes Pendulum Dragon! With those heterochromatic eyes of yours, LAY WASTE TO ALL THAT YOU SEE! ULTIMATE SPIRAL FORCE!*
*All five monsters would gather tremendous amounts of energy before releasing it on one point, turning it all into a maelstrom of destruction incarnate. The shadowed figure and its Tragoedia could only step back in horror at the incoming stream of pure death. Upon impact, the camera recording all of this would be blown away before shorting out in an explosion that was heard all throughout the Library Arcanium.*
So, it’s been awhile. I’ve been having to raise and train Muse after she came into being. She’s in some ways, very much a child while in other ways, she is surprisingly mature. Certainly, she’s learning things at a rapid pace, but then she’s almost computer-like in that regard. Though, I had gotten into some trouble when Rhia found Muse using her oven to obtain energy. I got more than a mere earful, even though that was all Muse’s doing.
Anyway, I’ve discovered that Muse loves two main genres of media; Magical Girls and Real Robot. Thanks to Yukari Yakumo, she has all the data she needs to understand how all the Mobile Weapons of every Gundam series works. I should be grateful that she cannot actually use most of that data. You see, while she knows how the beam sabers and fusion reactors and all that works, she can’t emulate any of that. She doesn’t have the ability to make the particles and elements necessary for those functions. That said, her ability to emulate is astounding, even though I was the one who gave her that power.
Well, as for the Omni-weapon that we took from my now deceased PCMSPS counterpart. It took some doing, but I was able to successfully integrate it into Muse. This might not have been the best idea, in terms of maintaining her power balance. I mean, I gave her an additional ten meter sphere of mass to her already impressive six. Meaning she is bigger than most Mobile Suits in her natural uncompressed form. Seems to be a running gag of mine to make characters, only to find out that their power is far greater than intended.
So, rambling out of the way, I’ll just say that I’m currently busy preparing her to take the Society Entrance Exam and most likely won’t be taking missions until she’s joined up. That should be everything I wanted to say. Thanks for listening.
To borrow a greeting from the American agents – yo!
I’m very wary of what I put here now that I know we have an audience beyond ourselves – this is mostly due to what I learned last weekend during my mission to…well I can’t say. Y’see the utterly paraxocial thing is that now that I know this character reads our blog, I can’t talk about it on here, because it might risk undoing the Memory Bomb we put on the fandom after we’d finished clean up (I don’t actually know what the result of that would be, beyond Harriet’s explainations of “Tooooormeeeeent!”).
So yeah, I had my first mission – it was pretty awesome, even if I did have a banging headache. I got to hug two of my favourite characters (though I missed the title character – which was probably for the best, since he had a gun for more than fifty percent of the time). I had a lot of people complain afterwards that I wasted a lot of time in my mission stopping to complain about my hangover. And yes, maybe I did, but I have a very simple reason for my constant bitching. As anyone who has actually done it will testify, being hungover is a lot like having a really bad flu, in that it is impossible to think of anything except how crappy you feel. So there you go – I couldn’t stop complaining about it, because I couldn’t forget it was there any more than I could forget my own legs were there.
In other news, I finished Fifty Shades of Grey. Since I’d done nothing but listen to Harriet, Tash and other like-minded readers complain about how rubbish it was, I figured I should see what the fuss was about. Let me be the millionth person to say that the writing is appalling. Now I’m not that great at English (as Mrs Anderson will be telling Harriet at Parents Evening next week) but I have read fanfictions with better sentence construction (which is an appropriate comparison given that the book started as fanfiction). And for that matter, I’ve read fanfictions with better BDSM. I think Fifty Shades is only popular because not enough people read fanfiction – otherwise they wouldn’t be finding it half as amazing. I’ve loaned it now to Anna, who’s half way through and I’m pretty sure agrees with me. I know Miki will take one look at the bad writing and probably demand all the books be burned. I will happily help her on this one!
Speaking of organised protest – Anna’s planning a big one at school! You guys know how at the end of Year Seven the teachers suddenly decided they were going to change our school uniform so that we could immitate the posh school on the other side of town? Well now they’re thinking about banning trousers for the girls and making us all wear skirts! Its the stupidest idea I have EVER heard! Bad enough we have to wear blazers that aren’t really that warm, and ties (I mean seriously, the tie is the most pointless piece of clothing ever!), but now all the girls will have to wear skirts if this goes ahead! Now if you’re cute like Miki you can pull skirts off and look good in them. But I’m not cute, and I KNOW skirts don’t look good on me! And I HATE that if the wind is blowing the wrong way, everyone can see your knickers. Anna’s thinking is the same (that and she has a huge birthmark on her leg that she doesn’t like people seeing).
So yeah, Anna is organising a protest. She’s gathering up signatures from all the students, and she’s reading all about peaceful protests. I think she wants us to come to school for a week dressed in something outrageous (I’m pretty sure Mike will come up with something cool – he’s good with fashion).
Oh if anyone was wondering, I did get my bra back from Becky. I wasn’t the only one who lost clothes that night though – apparently Mike woke up the next morning and found that someone had superglued his underwear drawer shut!
Damn it. I’m even in the same bed. I swear I’m recognizing some of the dots on the ceiling. So that makes 400 dots I’m actually sure of. Still recounting the others…
This is going to take me a little while to type out. Passion hit me with a bolt of lightning in the arena and I’m still trying to recover some of my minor motor skills. Val says typing will be good practice. I guess it is. When I can control the random shaking my hands go through. Gah…I better not go anywhere near my knives or I’ll cut off all my fingers by accident. Some of those things can go through bone like melted butter.
Speaking of knives and cutting…I’m sure everyone remembers Roxelana. Well, not to be disrepectful to the dead, but…
‘Ding, dong, the bitch is dead!’
It might sound somewhat bloodthirsty to gloat about it, but there are some people where it’s understandable. There was a law in Texas back in the late 1800’s where, if a man was killed, and a good amount of the population thought the man needed to be dead, the killer got off without a trial. The general thought was “He needed killin’.” Roxelana needed killin’.
I just wish I hadn’t had to slit her throat to do it. There’s something about feeling life slip out of a warm body that…Guh. It’s wrong. It feels horrible. Even with Roxelana…I don’t want to kill again. And never like that if I can get away with it. I’ll stick with my frying pan and my guns.
Wait….speaking of my frying pan, did anyone see what happened to it? Or do I have to get a new one?
Awwww, man…Cristoph says my frying pan was still in the Hunger Games arena when we left. I have to get a new one. Damn.
Passion was one hell of a fighter. And a gamer. Are they so different in the end?
I almost kinda wish we hadn’t had to kill Passion. I almost liked the guy, for a Stu. Back when we first met him, he was fun. He’d log in to whatever game was being played and join us in multiplayer. For or against. The guy had no problems teaming up with us in Halo or TF2. He was just another gamer.
I think I’ll miss him.
I wish he hadn’t died thinking what he was about us. I’m sorry he died in a righteous fury. I’d be angry like that too. Have been. I wish I could’ve…GODDAMMIT. I can’t even say it here. Sometimes, @, I really hate you.
Goodbye, Passion. Requiescat in pace.
Umm…Cristoph’s asking me to type something. He says, “Emily, I wish to speak with you on your spying skills, ninja to ninja.” I think he’s impressed that you got that naughty sketch of us, hun, but annoyed that you got it and he didn’t notice. Speaking of which…you’re not getting it back.
Huh. Cristoph says he’s got a special gift for my 21st birthday and that if I want it I should get off now. He’s, uh….Oh YES thank you God.
Okay. We all saw what happened in today’s meeting. And I’ve had some very loud parties of agents who have been suggesting none too subtly that Harriet and I punish such drastic and potentially dangerous behaviour from a junior member who obviously needs to learn manners, blah blah blah…
All I have to say is this.
Emily, next time you want to pull something like this, COME AND FIND ME BEFORE YOU PUSH SAITO INTO FISH FINGER’S TANK SO I CAN HELP YOU HOLD HIM DOWN!
Too bad Fish Finger has decided she doesn’t like the taste of humans…
Things have been pretty quiet. Combee chewed up the Deus Ex Machina a while ago and Emily has only just started fixing it. The good news is that now we can understand the Pokemon without overdosing on Oneshots. Unfortunately it also means that all Combee’s singing is now perfectly audible and understandable. And then two days ago, she gave me the fateful news…
“Auntie Tashy! I’ve found a Bee who sings! His name is Justin!”
And all hope was lost in the world as the strains of “Boyfriend” began to filter through the Library…
Gods help us all.
Anyway, the WARGS organised a huge game of Risk two weeks ago (Alice won). And then there was a massive Magic The Gathering tournament (which Dave won). And then a Minecraft Survival Games event (Michael won that). And then a friggin huge Pokemon tournament (Adrian won that). Harriet organised a cricket tournament (she won that). And then Ben, John and I had a huge dance off yesterday (nobody won that). We’ve been pretty competitive overall. Maybe its the Olympics.
Anyway, I may as well get out with it. I’ve been feeling pretty morose lately, as most of you may have gathered. Combination of a lot of things I’ve been called regularly over the last few months by various people just digging at me a little deeper each time – mostly insults from Sues, but sometimes other agents. Sometimes just downright nasty. I mean, they’re all true. I’m not blind to my own personality faults, its just that I don’t care what people think of me. The world can think I’m an angry, callous, stupid bitch and I don’t care. Or rather I shouldn’t care. That’s my problem. I’ve started caring again.
I shouldn’t care what other people think of me. I should just be able to say, ‘this is who I am – if you don’t like it, you can fuck off’. But there’s this really rubbish, doormat part of me that just wants to cower and go back to sucking up to the people who insult me in order to get them to like me again. Its pathetic, and I hate myself for it. I thought I’d grown out of that once I left school.
Or maybe I’m just sick and tired of trying to please some people when they just can’t be pleased.
Jeeze, when did I become so angsty? Maybe about the time missions started trickling in more and more slowly? Maybe I need a distraction…in fact I’m really tempted to go pick a fight with a Sue just to stir things up. I’d take Emily with me, but she’s on basement duty this week…
…spoke too soon. That’s the basement alarm going off. Maybe Emily ran out of tea again…
I cannot believe what I just heard.
Heck, most of you won’t be surprised. You probably heard it too while I was at school.
For those of you who don’t know, we had an emergency last night – well I say ‘we’ I mean the Counter Guardians, because we all slept through it. All caused by a level 2 Harry Potter Sue of all people! We knew she was there, but…well she was level 2. We didn’t bother about her. We didn’t think she was causing any trouble.
We were really wrong.
We’re still not sure what she did, but it majorly screwed up the Veil, and almost had it swallow the whole fandom! Anyway, we were all snoozing, so the Counter Guardians went to clean it up. Good news is its cleaned up and we’ve sent an apology to JK Rowling. The bad news is that the Sue is dead. Saito claims self defence, but none of us believe him – can’t possibly think why…
Anyway, I replayed all the footage from this morning just to see what I missed after I went to school, and Gods almighty! Saito is a dick! How dare he scream at Tash like that! Like she deliberately wanted it to happen! I’ll spare you the more colourful parts, but it basically went like this.
“You are an irresponsible, stupid, pathetic excuse for a leader. I wouldn’t trust you to run a cake stall, let alone a group of vigilantes, and the next time the universe breaks down due to your inability, don’t come crying to us.”
And then he walked away muttering about being in a sea of idiots.
I thought Tash was going to slug him in the face – she’s done it before. She doesn’t take that kind of crap from anyone.
But she didn’t. She just stood there and took it! (by the way, Aramayis and Kitsune, if you’re reading this, you both suck too – why did you just stand there?! Why didn’t you help her?!) I don’t get it. I know she’s been depressed lately (I’ve heard her throwing up lately too – I think her stress is giving her stomach aches) but I didn’t think she’d just stand there and take it like that!
Saito’s a dick. He had no right to say those things. Tash isn’t perfect, but neither is he.
By the way, Tash, if you read this, I know there’s probably some kind of manners thing that means I shouldn’t be posting this, but if you won’t talk about it, then I damn well will!
Next time I see Saito he is Liopleurodon chow!