Ugh…

Normally, crack pills have little to no effect on me. After all, at the very least, I finish one tin within a month.

But a couple of days ago, when Aster beat me in a series of video games, of all things (She normally sucks at fighting games! And how the hell did she beat me in Brawl? I’m freaking invincible when I use Meta Knight!), I got a bit upset.

If you can call throwing my Wiimote at a wall and cramming five crack pills straight into my mouth “a bit” upset.

Chrys then showed up and cheered me up a bit by offering to have a friendly battle with me via a Pokemon game. Chrys had her DS ready to go, so I went to my room to grab mine. I made sure that the top slot of my DS had the correct game card in it, and booted up my game so I could go to the Link Center and battle with Chrys.

As soon as the title credits passed and the file selection showed up, I knew something was wrong. Normally, my start screen looks something like this:

PLAYER: Akai
TIME: -Insert over 300 hours here-
POKéDEX: -Insert a number close to 200 here-
BADGES: 8

Instead, I was faced with this:

PLAYER: ??????
TIME: 23:36
POKéDEX: 18
BADGES: 1

It turns out that somehow, my file got deleted and replaced by some n00b file. It’s definitely not mine – there is no way in hell that I would ever pick a grass starter, even if I had gone temporarily insane or something. I’m wondering if it had anything to do with those imps that stole stuff from the Society, but why would they delete my file instead of just taking my DS?

Whoever the hell touched my DS is going to have their ears cut off and skewered onto their elbows once I get a hold of him…or her…or it…

Anyways, the good news is, I’m an avid Pokémon gamer so I didn’t lose my best Pokémon – I was cautious enough to trade my good ones into a game card that I guard heavily. The bad news is, like I said above, I dedicated over 300 hours to that file, and I did lose some very good Pokémon. I had a level 78 shiny Kadabra! A SHINY!

The bottom line is, I got really upset and shoved about half a tin of crack pills down my throat.

At that moment, nothing happened except that I started raging so much that Chrys’s desu fizzled out for a few days (Though I think it’s starting to come back now). Chrys (and Mizuho, who turned up to see what was wrong since Chrys started freaking out when I got out my spear and started stabbing things) eventually got me to calm down, and they, along with some of the other members of the Society, eventually restored some of my game’s lost glory (Damn, some of the Agents here have really weird Pokémon…).

Unfortunately, while my mood got better, something else became upset – my stomach. Over half a tin of crack pills within an hour is definitely not good…

I tried Tums, soda, milk (This actually made it worse), ginger tea, some actual Altoids (They tasted very mild compared to my usual dose of minty crack), an apple (Aster’s suggestion), and half a spoon of baking soda mixed with water, but none of them helped my stomach. I guess conventional remedies don’t work on crack-based ailments?

Currently, I’m in my room, curled up in my bed with two blankets wrapped around my stomach THAT WILL NOT STOP CHURNING GODDAMMIT! -Chucks a cookie from the jun-akuma across the room-

If anyone wants to drop by and suggest other cures, feel free…I’ll probably be here all day…

— Akai