12 days. I have 12 days until my author’s birthday. Normally, I don’t talk to my author except when:
1. I’m extremely bored (This rarely happens since I’m a Society Agent).
2. I have issues with my current state of life that are influenced by my author (I’m still bitter over the fact that she made me shorter than her. Well, it’s only about half an inch or so, but still! This happens every once in a while.).
3. My author drags me off because she’s bored or wants to tell me something (This constitutes about 95% of the times we talk, and usually it’s extremely trivial news).
As stated above, normally, reason #3 is the reason why my ass gets randomly dragged out of the Library or, in the middle of the night, my author shows up and wakes me up to tell me something about her life.
HONESTLY. I AM YOUR OC/SELF-INSERT, NOT YOUR PERSONAL DIARY. STOP BITCHING TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE, YOU SAD, IMMATURE EXCUSE FOR AN AUTHOR!
-Takes out a crack pill and swallows it-
-Calms down slightly-
Hooooo. Okay, back to what I was saying before. My author, while a bit tactless at times, does let me have my privacy and leaves me alone for the most part. Unfortunately, like I said, there’s less than two weeks until her birthday. No, it’s not that I want to get her anything. The problem is, she’s been visiting me and/or dragging me out to “hang out” with her every single day since she realized “OMG IT’S SEPTEMBER MY BIRTHDAY’S COMING UP ;DDDD”.
The good news is, she’ll probably stop after her birthday passes. The bad news is, she’s probably going to do this every day until it does.
Someone kill me. Please.
Some of you may be thinking, “Hey, if you hate her that much, just threaten her or something and be done with it. You’re not afraid to use violence, right?”. The thing is, I don’t hate her. As annoying as she is, she is my author, so in a way, she’s my “elder”, and I (grudgingly) have to respect that.
Others may say, “Since she’s your author, can’t you just cope with it? After all, it’s only 12 more days!”. Hm, if I told you to stay in the Twilight fandom for 12 days and “just cope with it”, would you be fine with that?
…okay, my author isn’t that bad (Come to think of it, can anyone think of anything as bad as being stuck in the Twilight fandom for several days? I really can’t at the moment.), but she’s the only one so far who can single-handedly annoy and embarrass me unscathed.
Here’s what happened this morning…
Me: -Reading a book in my room-
Author: AKAAAAAAAI! -Glomps from behind-
Me: What the – ?! Where did you come from?!
Author: K-ON is ending soon! There’s only 3 more episodes left in the anime! And the FINAL chapter raws are out and the translators are almost done with it and there was a leak and in the new chapter Azusa was crying and lots of people are interpreting it as a confession to Yui (hell no I hope not, but then again, Kakifly seems to like yuri) and OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA LIVE?! MY PRECIOUS K-ON IS ENDING –
Me: SHUT UP! I DON’T GIVE A DAMN! LET ME GO! OI! YOU! HELP ME OUT!
Jun-akuma: -Stares blankly and then offers a cookie-
…and the worst part is, when she left, she ruffled my hair and told me that the outburst was her idea of a joke since I hate getting glomped (Except by Chrys and maybe Aster, since I’m kind of used to it by now).
Maybe I get my sadism from her.