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Ketchup and Catch-Up

Yeah, this title is a little odd. But at least it’s got alliteration!

I blame it all on my clutzyness. I mean, why else would I spill a container of ketchup on Adrian’s head? All a complete accident. I swear I didn’t mean too!! The public kitchen has a bigger store of ketchup, so I went there to grab it. I needed it as an ingredient for a salad dressing. Yes, you can make salad dressing out of ketchup. AND you can make a BBQ sauce out of it too. Both taste good.

Anyway, I was on my way from Kitchen 1 with a container of ketchup to Kitchen 2, and Adrian was coming up the other way. We nodded to each other and kept going but my feet went and got in my way and I went sprawling, the bowl of ketchup landing upside down on Adrian’s head. After a moment of “Oh, jeeze, that just happened,” It was a rush to get Adrian’s head under a sink to get all the ketchup out of his hair….Or it would threaten to stain his hair pink for a while. While this would be much amusing and great for blackmail, the poor guy’s dignity has already been beaten on enough.

So it was a rush to my kitchen to stick his head under a sink.

After saving his hair, it was a rush to save his trenchcoat. Ketchup, unfortunately, stains horribly. So while I scrubbed at it, he sat down to wait for it to be done. The following is the conversation that took place.

Me: Crap, Adrian, I’m sorry about this!! *gets trenchcoat under water and starts scrubbing at*

Adrian: It’s all right. It’s just ketchup. *shrugs*

Me: Still. Nyeeehh….*trails off and goes back to scrubbing*

Adrian:*makes a sound like he tried to start a sentence but fails* (My back is to him for most of this conversation, so I don’t see his face.) I haven’t been able to catch up with you since I got back….I mean, I’ve been getting bits and pieces from most people but you’ve been silent, pretty much. Want to say anything?

Me: Not really. You’ve probably gotten the whole story from others.

Adrian: You sure? I’m sure there’s something that’s happened that you want me to know about.

Me: Well, Phoenixia got a body, but I know you know that already. (I know I made a snickering noise at this)

Adrian: *makes a strangled spluttering noise* Yeah, I know that one. Anything else?

Me:  Uhm…Cristoph took me on a date. I guess you could say we’re dating. Rather hard to tell, since we’re both awkward at this…

Adrian: *easy enough to hear the smile in his words* Congrats, Rhia. I heard a little bit about that. And as much as I’ve tried I haven’t been able to corner Cristoph about it….I heard that Tash took his cowl?

Me: Yeap! Hid it in the one place he wouldn’t go for it, either! Down her shirt! *I full out laughed at this, and so did Adrian*

Adrian: Yeah, that sounds like Tash. Anything else?

Me: *long pause*

Adrian: Rhia?

Me: *voice drops in volume* I remodeled my kitchen. You notice?

Adrian: Yeah, I did. Any particular reason why?

Me: *even longer pause, I stop scrubbing*

Adrian: Rhia? *I heard his chair scrape against the floor, at this point he stood up*

Me: *I spin around, draw a throwing knife from my sleeve and throw it at a target across the kitchen. At this point I can see Adrian’s face and he’s surprised. I couldn’t do that before he died.* Yeah, I learned how to throw knives, I’ve gotten a lot more paranoid and there are nights I can’t sleep with the lights off because some dumb Sue got it into her head to kidnap me! And she made it look like I’d been murdered in my own kitchen! I’m sure you’ve read the mission report to the Kick-Ass fandom. I remodeled because I couldn’t get the bloodstains out of the kitchen floor. And the stove was completely warped from Willie’s Hellfire. So, yeah, kitchen remodel.

Adrian: I’m sorry.

Me: Don’t be. Just make sure Roxelana never gets out of the Basement. Ever. *I threw another knife at the target across the room. It hit bullseye with a solid thunk*

*pause from both of us*

Me: Oh, your trenchcoat is done. It’s wet, but nothing that time and a little air can’t fix.

Adrian: Thanks. Are you going to be ok?

Me: Yeah. I think so.

After this, things trailed off into niceities and Adrian eventually left. He’s catching up, ever so slowly. Now he just needs to meet the new members and he’ll be up to speed. I pity his ribs for when he meets Alice…

Roxelana’s staying in the basement if I have to stick her to a wall with superglue. And that’s that.


Categories: Rhiannon-Society Chef
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