Okay. We all saw what happened in today’s meeting. And I’ve had some very loud parties of agents who have been suggesting none too subtly that Harriet and I punish such drastic and potentially dangerous behaviour from a junior member who obviously needs to learn manners, blah blah blah…
All I have to say is this.
Emily, next time you want to pull something like this, COME AND FIND ME BEFORE YOU PUSH SAITO INTO FISH FINGER’S TANK SO I CAN HELP YOU HOLD HIM DOWN!
Too bad Fish Finger has decided she doesn’t like the taste of humans…
Things have been pretty quiet. Combee chewed up the Deus Ex Machina a while ago and Emily has only just started fixing it. The good news is that now we can understand the Pokemon without overdosing on Oneshots. Unfortunately it also means that all Combee’s singing is now perfectly audible and understandable. And then two days ago, she gave me the fateful news…
“Auntie Tashy! I’ve found a Bee who sings! His name is Justin!”
And all hope was lost in the world as the strains of “Boyfriend” began to filter through the Library…
Gods help us all.
Anyway, the WARGS organised a huge game of Risk two weeks ago (Alice won). And then there was a massive Magic The Gathering tournament (which Dave won). And then a Minecraft Survival Games event (Michael won that). And then a friggin huge Pokemon tournament (Adrian won that). Harriet organised a cricket tournament (she won that). And then Ben, John and I had a huge dance off yesterday (nobody won that). We’ve been pretty competitive overall. Maybe its the Olympics.
Anyway, I may as well get out with it. I’ve been feeling pretty morose lately, as most of you may have gathered. Combination of a lot of things I’ve been called regularly over the last few months by various people just digging at me a little deeper each time – mostly insults from Sues, but sometimes other agents. Sometimes just downright nasty. I mean, they’re all true. I’m not blind to my own personality faults, its just that I don’t care what people think of me. The world can think I’m an angry, callous, stupid bitch and I don’t care. Or rather I shouldn’t care. That’s my problem. I’ve started caring again.
I shouldn’t care what other people think of me. I should just be able to say, ‘this is who I am – if you don’t like it, you can fuck off’. But there’s this really rubbish, doormat part of me that just wants to cower and go back to sucking up to the people who insult me in order to get them to like me again. Its pathetic, and I hate myself for it. I thought I’d grown out of that once I left school.
Or maybe I’m just sick and tired of trying to please some people when they just can’t be pleased.
Jeeze, when did I become so angsty? Maybe about the time missions started trickling in more and more slowly? Maybe I need a distraction…in fact I’m really tempted to go pick a fight with a Sue just to stir things up. I’d take Emily with me, but she’s on basement duty this week…
…spoke too soon. That’s the basement alarm going off. Maybe Emily ran out of tea again…
I cannot believe what I just heard.
Heck, most of you won’t be surprised. You probably heard it too while I was at school.
For those of you who don’t know, we had an emergency last night – well I say ‘we’ I mean the Counter Guardians, because we all slept through it. All caused by a level 2 Harry Potter Sue of all people! We knew she was there, but…well she was level 2. We didn’t bother about her. We didn’t think she was causing any trouble.
We were really wrong.
We’re still not sure what she did, but it majorly screwed up the Veil, and almost had it swallow the whole fandom! Anyway, we were all snoozing, so the Counter Guardians went to clean it up. Good news is its cleaned up and we’ve sent an apology to JK Rowling. The bad news is that the Sue is dead. Saito claims self defence, but none of us believe him – can’t possibly think why…
Anyway, I replayed all the footage from this morning just to see what I missed after I went to school, and Gods almighty! Saito is a dick! How dare he scream at Tash like that! Like she deliberately wanted it to happen! I’ll spare you the more colourful parts, but it basically went like this.
“You are an irresponsible, stupid, pathetic excuse for a leader. I wouldn’t trust you to run a cake stall, let alone a group of vigilantes, and the next time the universe breaks down due to your inability, don’t come crying to us.”
And then he walked away muttering about being in a sea of idiots.
I thought Tash was going to slug him in the face – she’s done it before. She doesn’t take that kind of crap from anyone.
But she didn’t. She just stood there and took it! (by the way, Aramayis and Kitsune, if you’re reading this, you both suck too – why did you just stand there?! Why didn’t you help her?!) I don’t get it. I know she’s been depressed lately (I’ve heard her throwing up lately too – I think her stress is giving her stomach aches) but I didn’t think she’d just stand there and take it like that!
Saito’s a dick. He had no right to say those things. Tash isn’t perfect, but neither is he.
By the way, Tash, if you read this, I know there’s probably some kind of manners thing that means I shouldn’t be posting this, but if you won’t talk about it, then I damn well will!
Next time I see Saito he is Liopleurodon chow!
Success! I found my password! So now my email has been updated and I can carry on posting my thoughts and opinions even if people don’t want to listen.
Okay boring stuff first – school is dire (as always), though I suppose I should inform you about the Cullen Disciples. The Cullen Disciples are a group of about thirteen students at my school from all years. There are eleven girls and two boys, though to be honest I think one of them is there because he thinks it’ll make him popular, and the other is there because he wants to do one of the girls. The German exchange student looked like he was about to be dragged in (they told him it was a regular book club), but Miki stepped in and explained to him exactly what it was, and he hasn’t gone near them since.
Anyway, the Disciples are just downright creepy. They sit in the corner of the cafeteria every lunch time, all hunched over like the rest of us are carrying plague, and they hang around in the prayer room for the rest of the break (the rest of the students have started using classroom 2 to pray in because they don’t want to go near them – the teachers want to move them, but they’re a little worried that it could be constituted as denying their right to worship). They always talk in hushed voices like they know something we don’t, and most disturbingly of all, they all wear glitter on their cheeks.
I wish I was making this up.
Anyway, that’s about the only interesting thing that’s happened. Sports day was rained off so it was last Thursday instead. Miki and I sat in a tree on the field (ignoring the teachers insistence that we get down and sit with the rest of our houses – I ripped a hole in my school trousers) and booed everyone – cept for Anna of course. We cheered her. Then we got real stick from the teacher for supporting a house that wasn’t our own. Sorry Mrs White, but Stuart house haven’t won for about thirty three years. I don’t think that’s going to change this year. Besides, I don’t like being on the losing team, so Hannover all the way!
Anyway, outside of school, I have been a fully qualified agent for about three months now –and I still haven’t had a mission come up! They’ve all been level 8 or higher Sues, or Sovereigns and only the leaders deal with them. I need a wimp, damn it!
Harriet has been teaching me the fine art of cricket. Now we all know I’m rubbish at sports – despite my ability to hit my targets with my supersoaker, I can’t hit a ball to save my life, and I am always last to be chosen for rounders because I leave dents in windows, teachers cars and my teammate’s foreheads – so I can’t play cricket very well. Harriet and (a)’s holographic copies routinely beat me. However I am learning the rules, and finding them to be rather fun.
On the far opposite end of the spectrum, Tash has done the impossible, and managed to convert me in more ways than one. To say I had doubts about watching Ouran High School Host Club would be an understatement – when I like anime it tends to be shonen anime rather than shojo, and Ouran is nothing but shojo and a whole lotta rose petals (seriously where the hell do those things come from?!). But so help me, I watched Ouran all the way through, and I thought it was really good, so I guess I am a chick after all!
But more importantly, I sat through Ouran, glancing from pretty boy to pretty boy, and couldn’t help but notice that (aside from cheering for Tamaki and Haruhi to get together) my resounding thought throughout the whole thing was “Why aren’t the twins making out yet?”. Afterwards I got curious, and knowing that Tash has a long recommended reading list full of boy on boy pairings from various fandoms, I stayed up all night reading fanfiction (p.s. Tash, Tendershipping is smexy, but I personally prefer Thiefshipping).
So it is official.
I, Emily Foxblade, am a yaoi fangirl.
And before any of you old people come whining to me that I’m thirteen and shouldn’t be reading this kind of stuff, I advise you to take your complaints to Harriet. But before you open your mouths to stick your feet in them, just remember that when she was thirteen she was reading waaaay kinkier stuff than I was, so she may be a little offended as you attempt to ‘defend my innocent little mind from this filth’.
Jeeze. I know I’m thirteen, but none of you treated Inara like a baby when she joined last year and she was the same age then as I am now!
Okay I’m done being huffy. I should draw this to a close anyway. I’m on basement duty all this week and I’ve got to fix the Deus Ex Machina too…
But first, I must go search for more Thiefshipping…