So Kyle mentioned the blog earlier today, and I realised that I haven’t posted in like, forever either. Not much has been happening in the Library lately actually. The way Adrian explained it to me is that time here and time in real life don’t quite more linearly – they move how the story needs them to move. So what’s happening here may not necessarily reflect the goings on in the real world. That sounds confusing, so don’t think about it too hard.
…no really, don’t. If you think about it, the Fourth Wall starts to get a little loose.
But things do move here. Since you all last saw me I have been to two concerts (yes, I went to see One Direction the other week – shut your faces), one anime convention, almost finished year ten and got half way through my GCSEs. Incidentally, it turns out that picking your GCSEs is a harrowing experience. You can’t quite escape the sensation that your entire future is riding on these choices that you – a naive little thirteen/fourteen year old – are just not equipped to make. Fortunately they impose strict deadlines, and we must meet them or an earthquake will swallow the entire building up.
But now I’m fifteen and next year is year eleven, and in keeping with tradition, year elevens get to pick by popular vote what colour combos our uniform will be. Unfortunately the teachers shot most of our suggestions down. Apparently Barbie pink and lime green isn’t an acceptable choice, but we have managed to get dark green and purple, which actually looks kind of cool. It almost makes wearing a skirt, blazer and tie combination bearable.
Almost. But not quite.
So anyway, back to GCSEs. Since I haven’t actually been on the blog for two years, nobody knows what I actually picked. So aside from the core subjects (incidentally, maths is still a bitch), I am taking IT as a double qualification, along with Art and History. Art is still the favourite, but I’m doing best at IT obviously – helps when there’s a multiverse spanning computer system to practise on on a daily basis (incidentally Adrian if you’re reading this, that database mix up that filed a load of pornography in the Christian fiction section had nothing to do with me – it was all @’s fault). Jesus Monster Truck Driving Christ, I actually finish full time schooling in a year. That’s a terrifying thought. But I’m carrying on with it, which means next year I’ve got to pick my A Levels – I’m thinking Art, Photography, and two other things that I haven’t picked yet. Since my school doesn’t actually have a sixth form, I’ll be moving over to the Grammar school to take them. Miki and Anna are both planning on come too.
Oh and if anyone was wondering, yes university is on the table. I don’t actually know how much studying I’d do, but three years of drinking, drugs and sexual experimentation sounds frigging awesome!
Speaking of the three evils, I have a birthday party next weekend that I need to raid the wardrobe for. I also owe Mike three ciders and a new hairbrush (don’t ask – it’s his boyfriend’s fault).
To borrow a greeting from the American agents – yo!
I’m very wary of what I put here now that I know we have an audience beyond ourselves – this is mostly due to what I learned last weekend during my mission to…well I can’t say. Y’see the utterly paraxocial thing is that now that I know this character reads our blog, I can’t talk about it on here, because it might risk undoing the Memory Bomb we put on the fandom after we’d finished clean up (I don’t actually know what the result of that would be, beyond Harriet’s explainations of “Tooooormeeeeent!”).
So yeah, I had my first mission – it was pretty awesome, even if I did have a banging headache. I got to hug two of my favourite characters (though I missed the title character – which was probably for the best, since he had a gun for more than fifty percent of the time). I had a lot of people complain afterwards that I wasted a lot of time in my mission stopping to complain about my hangover. And yes, maybe I did, but I have a very simple reason for my constant bitching. As anyone who has actually done it will testify, being hungover is a lot like having a really bad flu, in that it is impossible to think of anything except how crappy you feel. So there you go – I couldn’t stop complaining about it, because I couldn’t forget it was there any more than I could forget my own legs were there.
In other news, I finished Fifty Shades of Grey. Since I’d done nothing but listen to Harriet, Tash and other like-minded readers complain about how rubbish it was, I figured I should see what the fuss was about. Let me be the millionth person to say that the writing is appalling. Now I’m not that great at English (as Mrs Anderson will be telling Harriet at Parents Evening next week) but I have read fanfictions with better sentence construction (which is an appropriate comparison given that the book started as fanfiction). And for that matter, I’ve read fanfictions with better BDSM. I think Fifty Shades is only popular because not enough people read fanfiction – otherwise they wouldn’t be finding it half as amazing. I’ve loaned it now to Anna, who’s half way through and I’m pretty sure agrees with me. I know Miki will take one look at the bad writing and probably demand all the books be burned. I will happily help her on this one!
Speaking of organised protest – Anna’s planning a big one at school! You guys know how at the end of Year Seven the teachers suddenly decided they were going to change our school uniform so that we could immitate the posh school on the other side of town? Well now they’re thinking about banning trousers for the girls and making us all wear skirts! Its the stupidest idea I have EVER heard! Bad enough we have to wear blazers that aren’t really that warm, and ties (I mean seriously, the tie is the most pointless piece of clothing ever!), but now all the girls will have to wear skirts if this goes ahead! Now if you’re cute like Miki you can pull skirts off and look good in them. But I’m not cute, and I KNOW skirts don’t look good on me! And I HATE that if the wind is blowing the wrong way, everyone can see your knickers. Anna’s thinking is the same (that and she has a huge birthmark on her leg that she doesn’t like people seeing).
So yeah, Anna is organising a protest. She’s gathering up signatures from all the students, and she’s reading all about peaceful protests. I think she wants us to come to school for a week dressed in something outrageous (I’m pretty sure Mike will come up with something cool – he’s good with fashion).
Oh if anyone was wondering, I did get my bra back from Becky. I wasn’t the only one who lost clothes that night though – apparently Mike woke up the next morning and found that someone had superglued his underwear drawer shut!
I cannot believe what I just heard.
Heck, most of you won’t be surprised. You probably heard it too while I was at school.
For those of you who don’t know, we had an emergency last night – well I say ‘we’ I mean the Counter Guardians, because we all slept through it. All caused by a level 2 Harry Potter Sue of all people! We knew she was there, but…well she was level 2. We didn’t bother about her. We didn’t think she was causing any trouble.
We were really wrong.
We’re still not sure what she did, but it majorly screwed up the Veil, and almost had it swallow the whole fandom! Anyway, we were all snoozing, so the Counter Guardians went to clean it up. Good news is its cleaned up and we’ve sent an apology to JK Rowling. The bad news is that the Sue is dead. Saito claims self defence, but none of us believe him – can’t possibly think why…
Anyway, I replayed all the footage from this morning just to see what I missed after I went to school, and Gods almighty! Saito is a dick! How dare he scream at Tash like that! Like she deliberately wanted it to happen! I’ll spare you the more colourful parts, but it basically went like this.
“You are an irresponsible, stupid, pathetic excuse for a leader. I wouldn’t trust you to run a cake stall, let alone a group of vigilantes, and the next time the universe breaks down due to your inability, don’t come crying to us.”
And then he walked away muttering about being in a sea of idiots.
I thought Tash was going to slug him in the face – she’s done it before. She doesn’t take that kind of crap from anyone.
But she didn’t. She just stood there and took it! (by the way, Aramayis and Kitsune, if you’re reading this, you both suck too – why did you just stand there?! Why didn’t you help her?!) I don’t get it. I know she’s been depressed lately (I’ve heard her throwing up lately too – I think her stress is giving her stomach aches) but I didn’t think she’d just stand there and take it like that!
Saito’s a dick. He had no right to say those things. Tash isn’t perfect, but neither is he.
By the way, Tash, if you read this, I know there’s probably some kind of manners thing that means I shouldn’t be posting this, but if you won’t talk about it, then I damn well will!
Next time I see Saito he is Liopleurodon chow!
Success! I found my password! So now my email has been updated and I can carry on posting my thoughts and opinions even if people don’t want to listen.
Okay boring stuff first – school is dire (as always), though I suppose I should inform you about the Cullen Disciples. The Cullen Disciples are a group of about thirteen students at my school from all years. There are eleven girls and two boys, though to be honest I think one of them is there because he thinks it’ll make him popular, and the other is there because he wants to do one of the girls. The German exchange student looked like he was about to be dragged in (they told him it was a regular book club), but Miki stepped in and explained to him exactly what it was, and he hasn’t gone near them since.
Anyway, the Disciples are just downright creepy. They sit in the corner of the cafeteria every lunch time, all hunched over like the rest of us are carrying plague, and they hang around in the prayer room for the rest of the break (the rest of the students have started using classroom 2 to pray in because they don’t want to go near them – the teachers want to move them, but they’re a little worried that it could be constituted as denying their right to worship). They always talk in hushed voices like they know something we don’t, and most disturbingly of all, they all wear glitter on their cheeks.
I wish I was making this up.
Anyway, that’s about the only interesting thing that’s happened. Sports day was rained off so it was last Thursday instead. Miki and I sat in a tree on the field (ignoring the teachers insistence that we get down and sit with the rest of our houses – I ripped a hole in my school trousers) and booed everyone – cept for Anna of course. We cheered her. Then we got real stick from the teacher for supporting a house that wasn’t our own. Sorry Mrs White, but Stuart house haven’t won for about thirty three years. I don’t think that’s going to change this year. Besides, I don’t like being on the losing team, so Hannover all the way!
Anyway, outside of school, I have been a fully qualified agent for about three months now –and I still haven’t had a mission come up! They’ve all been level 8 or higher Sues, or Sovereigns and only the leaders deal with them. I need a wimp, damn it!
Harriet has been teaching me the fine art of cricket. Now we all know I’m rubbish at sports – despite my ability to hit my targets with my supersoaker, I can’t hit a ball to save my life, and I am always last to be chosen for rounders because I leave dents in windows, teachers cars and my teammate’s foreheads – so I can’t play cricket very well. Harriet and (a)’s holographic copies routinely beat me. However I am learning the rules, and finding them to be rather fun.
On the far opposite end of the spectrum, Tash has done the impossible, and managed to convert me in more ways than one. To say I had doubts about watching Ouran High School Host Club would be an understatement – when I like anime it tends to be shonen anime rather than shojo, and Ouran is nothing but shojo and a whole lotta rose petals (seriously where the hell do those things come from?!). But so help me, I watched Ouran all the way through, and I thought it was really good, so I guess I am a chick after all!
But more importantly, I sat through Ouran, glancing from pretty boy to pretty boy, and couldn’t help but notice that (aside from cheering for Tamaki and Haruhi to get together) my resounding thought throughout the whole thing was “Why aren’t the twins making out yet?”. Afterwards I got curious, and knowing that Tash has a long recommended reading list full of boy on boy pairings from various fandoms, I stayed up all night reading fanfiction (p.s. Tash, Tendershipping is smexy, but I personally prefer Thiefshipping).
So it is official.
I, Emily Foxblade, am a yaoi fangirl.
And before any of you old people come whining to me that I’m thirteen and shouldn’t be reading this kind of stuff, I advise you to take your complaints to Harriet. But before you open your mouths to stick your feet in them, just remember that when she was thirteen she was reading waaaay kinkier stuff than I was, so she may be a little offended as you attempt to ‘defend my innocent little mind from this filth’.
Jeeze. I know I’m thirteen, but none of you treated Inara like a baby when she joined last year and she was the same age then as I am now!
Okay I’m done being huffy. I should draw this to a close anyway. I’m on basement duty all this week and I’ve got to fix the Deus Ex Machina too…
But first, I must go search for more Thiefshipping…
How long has it been since we posted anything on here?
Well I suppose given everything that’s gone on lately I shouldn’t be surprised.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a quick announcement – I’m sure it’ll get around the Society gossip vine tomorrow, but I’m changing my name back.
No, not to Palm Tree. Jeeze. Even I have some standards!
I’m going back to Foxblade. Smith was fine and everything, but Foxblade is who I am. I don’t want to be my sister, of course. But I’m not ashamed of her either. And with everything that’s happened lately, I think it’s the right thing to do. I’ve talked to Harriet and she supports this – we’re letting school know tomorrow.
I know you guys probably don’t understand this. But if you could please respect my choice, that would be great.
It just occurred to me that I never actually told anyone what I was going to do after my last blog post (three months ago, but I was grounded for a REALLY long time when Adrian found me sneaking Anna and Miki in for studying).
Jess took me to get my ears pierced as a birthday present. I love them! I got little green studs, and I’m looking to get some more now – guess I really am a girl after all. Harriet’s face when she noticed was a picture. She just kinda frowned and pointed at me for five minutes before she started talking. Asking me when the hell I’d got my ears pierced, and why didn’t I tell her. She got panicky when I told her Jess took me – guess she’s thankful I just came back with pierced ears, and not a tattoo.
Thanks to Jess as well, I’ve started watching Glee – I know its totally unlike me to like musical stuff, but its really addictive. I know I can’t sing (you don’t have to be quite so rude about that fact Aster) and even though she’s not biologically my mother, I seem to have inherited Harriet’s two left feet.
Speaking of Harriet, I have to get off the computer, and go help set up for the party tonight. Don’t forget ladies, show up in the third reading room tonight at seven. We’ll have our Chinese takeaway there, and then head for the baths. Wear a swimming costume…or nothing at all if you fancy. Bring a bathrobe, chopsticks and flip flops or slippers too (we will have towels there). And boys, you are forbidden tonight to be in the third reading room or the second Roman bathroom tonight – on pain of cricket bat! So speaks our leader Queen Harriet the Illustrious.
By the way – Nixie and Tashy, Harriet wants to see you at six o clock. You’re her models apparently. Any other girl who’s comfortable enough to model is also welcome. Show up in Harriet’s room at six.
…I should start charging Harriet for this PA service I’m providing.
Guess the titles says it all…
I asked Adrian a simple favour. Just a tiny little thing. Its my birthday in less than two weeks after all. You’re supposed to be nice to people on their birthdays!
I asked if I could have Anna and Miki around for a sleepover. Its a tiny little sleepover with a total of three girls! Its not like I’m having everyone in Year Seven over! But he says its too dangerous to have strangers in the Library. Which is stupid, because he has strangers from fandoms over all the time when they want books and stuff to aid them! He says they’re important and its necessary for them to get this information for their plots, but I’m not stupid. He wouldn’t do business with that bubbleheaded alien if the guy wasn’t selling him information back about the twelfth moon of Panoraca, and he wouldn’t let the Dark Virtue’s in if Nixie wasn’t shagging one of them (your walls are really thin Phoenixia).
I want my friends over. I want to do something normal for a change. A sleepover is nice and normal. I worked hard for these friends. I don’t want to mess it up.
Stupid Adrian…bet he’s just doing this because I threw myself off the roof at Sue Factor. Never mind that I saved us all. I’m still just the kid to him and have to do what the grown ups say…
Hmm…I have an idea…
Jess, if you read this, I want some advice from you!