So Kyle mentioned the blog earlier today, and I realised that I haven’t posted in like, forever either. Not much has been happening in the Library lately actually. The way Adrian explained it to me is that time here and time in real life don’t quite more linearly – they move how the story needs them to move. So what’s happening here may not necessarily reflect the goings on in the real world. That sounds confusing, so don’t think about it too hard.
…no really, don’t. If you think about it, the Fourth Wall starts to get a little loose.
But things do move here. Since you all last saw me I have been to two concerts (yes, I went to see One Direction the other week – shut your faces), one anime convention, almost finished year ten and got half way through my GCSEs. Incidentally, it turns out that picking your GCSEs is a harrowing experience. You can’t quite escape the sensation that your entire future is riding on these choices that you – a naive little thirteen/fourteen year old – are just not equipped to make. Fortunately they impose strict deadlines, and we must meet them or an earthquake will swallow the entire building up.
But now I’m fifteen and next year is year eleven, and in keeping with tradition, year elevens get to pick by popular vote what colour combos our uniform will be. Unfortunately the teachers shot most of our suggestions down. Apparently Barbie pink and lime green isn’t an acceptable choice, but we have managed to get dark green and purple, which actually looks kind of cool. It almost makes wearing a skirt, blazer and tie combination bearable.
Almost. But not quite.
So anyway, back to GCSEs. Since I haven’t actually been on the blog for two years, nobody knows what I actually picked. So aside from the core subjects (incidentally, maths is still a bitch), I am taking IT as a double qualification, along with Art and History. Art is still the favourite, but I’m doing best at IT obviously – helps when there’s a multiverse spanning computer system to practise on on a daily basis (incidentally Adrian if you’re reading this, that database mix up that filed a load of pornography in the Christian fiction section had nothing to do with me – it was all @’s fault). Jesus Monster Truck Driving Christ, I actually finish full time schooling in a year. That’s a terrifying thought. But I’m carrying on with it, which means next year I’ve got to pick my A Levels – I’m thinking Art, Photography, and two other things that I haven’t picked yet. Since my school doesn’t actually have a sixth form, I’ll be moving over to the Grammar school to take them. Miki and Anna are both planning on come too.
Oh and if anyone was wondering, yes university is on the table. I don’t actually know how much studying I’d do, but three years of drinking, drugs and sexual experimentation sounds frigging awesome!
Speaking of the three evils, I have a birthday party next weekend that I need to raid the wardrobe for. I also owe Mike three ciders and a new hairbrush (don’t ask – it’s his boyfriend’s fault).
To borrow a greeting from the American agents – yo!
I’m very wary of what I put here now that I know we have an audience beyond ourselves – this is mostly due to what I learned last weekend during my mission to…well I can’t say. Y’see the utterly paraxocial thing is that now that I know this character reads our blog, I can’t talk about it on here, because it might risk undoing the Memory Bomb we put on the fandom after we’d finished clean up (I don’t actually know what the result of that would be, beyond Harriet’s explainations of “Tooooormeeeeent!”).
So yeah, I had my first mission – it was pretty awesome, even if I did have a banging headache. I got to hug two of my favourite characters (though I missed the title character – which was probably for the best, since he had a gun for more than fifty percent of the time). I had a lot of people complain afterwards that I wasted a lot of time in my mission stopping to complain about my hangover. And yes, maybe I did, but I have a very simple reason for my constant bitching. As anyone who has actually done it will testify, being hungover is a lot like having a really bad flu, in that it is impossible to think of anything except how crappy you feel. So there you go – I couldn’t stop complaining about it, because I couldn’t forget it was there any more than I could forget my own legs were there.
In other news, I finished Fifty Shades of Grey. Since I’d done nothing but listen to Harriet, Tash and other like-minded readers complain about how rubbish it was, I figured I should see what the fuss was about. Let me be the millionth person to say that the writing is appalling. Now I’m not that great at English (as Mrs Anderson will be telling Harriet at Parents Evening next week) but I have read fanfictions with better sentence construction (which is an appropriate comparison given that the book started as fanfiction). And for that matter, I’ve read fanfictions with better BDSM. I think Fifty Shades is only popular because not enough people read fanfiction – otherwise they wouldn’t be finding it half as amazing. I’ve loaned it now to Anna, who’s half way through and I’m pretty sure agrees with me. I know Miki will take one look at the bad writing and probably demand all the books be burned. I will happily help her on this one!
Speaking of organised protest – Anna’s planning a big one at school! You guys know how at the end of Year Seven the teachers suddenly decided they were going to change our school uniform so that we could immitate the posh school on the other side of town? Well now they’re thinking about banning trousers for the girls and making us all wear skirts! Its the stupidest idea I have EVER heard! Bad enough we have to wear blazers that aren’t really that warm, and ties (I mean seriously, the tie is the most pointless piece of clothing ever!), but now all the girls will have to wear skirts if this goes ahead! Now if you’re cute like Miki you can pull skirts off and look good in them. But I’m not cute, and I KNOW skirts don’t look good on me! And I HATE that if the wind is blowing the wrong way, everyone can see your knickers. Anna’s thinking is the same (that and she has a huge birthmark on her leg that she doesn’t like people seeing).
So yeah, Anna is organising a protest. She’s gathering up signatures from all the students, and she’s reading all about peaceful protests. I think she wants us to come to school for a week dressed in something outrageous (I’m pretty sure Mike will come up with something cool – he’s good with fashion).
Oh if anyone was wondering, I did get my bra back from Becky. I wasn’t the only one who lost clothes that night though – apparently Mike woke up the next morning and found that someone had superglued his underwear drawer shut!